Remember how I told you the momma came home from being away from me for a WHOLE WEEK and told me I was fat? Ok, maybe she said chunky, but whatever. Anyway, she thinks she has it all figured out.
You, lady, are crazy callin' me chunky.
Now, do you also remember a few weeks ago I made a confession to you about my love for
Puddles Milkybones? Well, in case you forgot, I absolutely go crazy for Milkybones. I'm talkin' back flips! So, the momma got me some really huge milkybones and keeps them somewhere where I can't reach.
To prevent her walking in on this.... again.
Although I can't reach them... do you know who can? My dad! He can reach them and he gives me one whole huge milkybone every time I deserve a treat! Which is like 87 times a day. Whereas the momma gives me like 1/87th of that treat. Seriously, she crunches and smushes it up so that me and the Brutus have to share 1 treat all day long. Here's my example:
Cruel and unusual punishment.
You see the treat on top? That's my super large milkybone that dad gives me. See the treat on the bottom? That's the size that the momma uses, and she breaks it in half -or sometimes THREES or even worse, FIFTHS! And, I only get milkybones from the momma when I refuse to come inside because it's the only way she can get me in sometimes when I'm stubborn and I want a milkybone. Otherwise, I get carrots or sweet taters or healthier snacks -all which are fine, but NOT milkybones! So, she thinks that I got chunky by eating 87 large milkybones a day... I think she needs to get her eyes checked because I'm still 100% handsome, milkybones and all!
Handsome + Milkeybone = Corbin
Off topic, look at the drool on this kid!
It's even blurry because it sways.
Do you want to know what's even awesome-er? My girls, Bethany and Avery, were visiting last weekend, if you guessed that correctly on Monday! And, do you want to know what they brought me?
Can you read that?
It says "Milkybones JUST for Corbin, whenever Corbin wants one, no questions asked or tricks needed. No milkeybones for Brutus. Love, Bethany and Avery."
Neener Neener Drooly Boy... no Milkybones for you!